I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
