We got so high we made milksteak
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
