I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
