whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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