I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I would ride that face into the sunset
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
