FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
