why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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