doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
