I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
