beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
