the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
