Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize