Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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