I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
