every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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