We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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