I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize