She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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