This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
