i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
