I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize