sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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