dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
