My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
