I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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