nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
