"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
