so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
