Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
