did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
