some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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