my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize