I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The power of my boobs compel you
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize