get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
