i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize