i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
