i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
