Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
