Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
now i know why i became what i already was.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
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I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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