dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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