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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  that girl last night was a 15

  (1-413): View more from Massachusetts

  wait she was 15?

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  no like black jack not sure if you should hit it

  Fav 52 4538 1299

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• (512): View more from Texas

  She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!

  Fav 20 6847 1561

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you

  Fav 12 5650 1331

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• (361): View more from Texas

  like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan

  Fav 15 2741 1266

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor

  Fav 9 2097 1545

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• (310): View more from California

  I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP

  Fav 18 1076 2644

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"

  Fav 7 1847 1032

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet

  Fav 1 661 1106

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?

  Fav 6 1184 826

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want

  Fav 3 799 399

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP

  Fav 0 678 375

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• (407): View more from Florida

  He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.

  Fav 3 115 36

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