I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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