were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
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