Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
