Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
