Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
