yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
