Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
