Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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