white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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