I'm jealous of your bromance
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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