it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
