please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
