you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
