Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
