There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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