The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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