i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
