I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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