Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize