Define "chronic" masturbator.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize