Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I have aggressive nipples.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize