Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
