i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
