I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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