Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
