Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize