whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
