She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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