I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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