See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
