I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize